Doesn't it hurt?

I tot I can make any sacrifice for my love ones. I really thought so.
I brought out a topic that I told myself was taboo. I reminded myself so many times that I should never, NEVER bring this up because I'm giving it to her willingly, no matter how hard I have to work. But when I was sooo pissed of with what she said. I brought it up. Regardless of the umpteen times I held my emotions back. I let it out tonight. I know what I said is going to hurt her. And I know she'll hate me for what I said. She'll think that she owe me something for the rest of her life and that she should return me everything as soon as possible and thereafter have nothing to do with me, ever.

Thinking back on what I just said. I really hate myself. Why did I say it? Why am I hurting her like that? Why haven't I got over it? Why did I say that? I really regret what I just said, but my ego is too much for me to apologise. I love her but her attitude at times just.....I dunnoe.

You are not suppose to ask for anything in return. Bare this in mind LIU PEI JIA....get over it. Don't make her hate you. Why did I say it?! I feel like slapping myself. ARGHHHhhh!!!